Lesson In Mountaineering.
What I appreciate about myself as a teacher is, I’m always honest with my students - adults and children. Therefore, this will be a very frank post.
Last year I joined the Amaravati Buddhist retreat for the third time.
I planned it precisely - time off work, home chores on the side, family and friends informed of being off the grid for a little while. All the preparation and excitement were in place but … during the retreat, I struggled like never before. My monkey mind was much more active than usual and my monkey body even more restless than usual. It was unattainable to calm them down. I kept asking myself, why? The retreat itself was interesting and rich on countless levels. What was the problem then? A very early start, long dharma (teaching) sessions, and many hours of meditation? Seemed like nothing new to me. What the heck? After three days I was counting the hours to the end and I was relieved when the retreat was finally finished. What can I say, it was far from a mindful approach. Nevertheless, a very important lesson for me to learn.
What is my reason for sharing this? The post is a hearty message to all my past, present and future students. I would like you to know that being your teacher doesn’t mean I’ve reached the peak of ‘Mount Mindfulness’ or that you are in the Base Camp. It only means, I’m a little bit ahead of you. Only a few steps though. What’s more, it means that I might never reach the peak of the mountain and you’ve already left the base, climbing at a very good pace. I can surely teach you what the next step looks like but I do not teach you how to reach the top. Simply because I don’t know the whole route to the peak yet. Who knows, maybe it will never be possible for me to summit. Who knows, maybe it is not even my aim. Above all, though, the important message I want to put across is - I struggle with practice, just like you. Period.
To me the most inspirational quote about the real truth of teaching any subject, comes from the book Wherever you go, there you are by Jon Kabat-Zinn:
“In a wonderfully unfinished story called Mount Analogue, René Daumal once mapped a piece of this inward adventure. The part I remember most vividly involves the rule on Mount Analogue that before you move up the mountain to your next encampment, you must replenish the camp you are leaving for those who will come after you, and go down the mountain a ways to share with the other climbers your knowledge from farther up so that they may have some benefit from what you have learned so far on your own ascent. In a way, that's all any of us do when we teach. As best we can, we show others what we have seen up to now. It's at best a progress report, a map of our experiences, by no means the absolute truth. And so the adventure unfolds. We are all on Mount Analogue together. And we need each other's help”.
Later this year I’ll be part of another Amaravati retreat. This time without any expectations of how I SHOULD experience it. I’m just going to join and observe what happens. Full of gratitude for learning my lesson in mountaineering.
(Not always) mindfully yours,
Jo x
P.s. I’m going to finish this post with one of my favourite quotes from Lama Rod Owens: “Even shit practice is still practice!”.